Last week I baked myself a cake.  Not for any reason in particular, not to celebrate an occasion or accomplishment. Just because.  

It may simply have been the best cake I’ve ever tasted.

I don’t have a sweet tooth particularly and I’m not into emotional eating, but it was something about the act of creating something so sinfully good for myself to enjoy.  And I ate it mindfully.

It reminds me of the adage that you must first help yourself before you can help others.  I view this cake making, eating experience to be akin to that. It was an exercise in self-care.

Thomas J. Leonard, called the Father of Coaching or the Coach’s Coach, writes in his book The Portable Coach, that for the sake of your personal success you must become incredibly selfish. His is not the Webster’s definition of selfishness, but rather, that selfishness or selfulness, if you’d rather, “allows you to be more generous and supportive of others than you have ever been before.”  “Without you, there is nothing”. When you take time out to be with yourself, enjoy simple pleasures and recharge, you are only then able to give more of yourself to others and to your commitments.

For you, selfulness might mean:

• Giving yourself a time-out

• Saying no, just because you feel like it

• Doing something for only you, every day

• Watching a mindless TV show or getting lost in a novel

• Hiring a house cleaner

• Getting that physical that you’ve been putting off

• Having a no-work evening rule

• Taking a nap

• Pouring a luxurious bubble bath

• Calling a friend

Or maybe, it might just mean serving yourself a nice big slice of your favourite cake and savoring every morsel.