You’ve got this!

Some people seem to be tougher, while others struggle with change, loss, and difficult circumstances and lose their mind, become paralyzed, or sink into anxiety or sadness. They seem less resilient.

Resilience is a hot topic, and now more than ever, it’s a key differentiator for happiness and success.

So, what is resilience anyway?

It’s the ability to push through with optimism and trust that you have the capability to overcome difficulties and the universe has your back. If you’re resilient, you learn and grow from every experience, ultimately becoming stronger as a result.

When you’re resilient, you choose your actions; you respond. When you lack resilience, you give up your control; you react.

The good news is that resilience can be learned. And, just like you exercise your body, you can strengthen your resilience muscle every day.

When you build your resilience, you increase your capacity to deal with anything that comes your way --- like a debilitating illness, a loss, a struggling relationship, a financial setback, or juggling multiple demands – or a global pandemic. And, on a smaller scale, resilience will help you cope with everyday demands like a kitchen disaster, a toddler’s meltdown, an irate customer, or your internet going down again, so you never have to lose your cool.

If you’re going through hard times, take heart. You already have what it takes; your resilience just needs to be nurtured.

Here are 10 things resilient people do that you can do also:

1.    They practice mindfulness.

A mindful life is a resilient one. Set aside time every day to be still, breathe deeply, and let your thoughts come and go without judgment. You can’t change what happens to you, but you can press the pause button – even just for a few moments, look at your situation with fresh eyes, and regroup. Then, you can respond in a calm and centred way.

2.    They know that self-care isn’t selfish.

You can’t be your best if you don’t invest time in you. Engage in restorative activities such as walks in nature, massages, and most of all, adequate sleep. Be physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually ready for whatever comes your way.

3.    They sharpen their problem-solving skills.

As Marie Forleo says, “Everything is figureoutable.”

Before deciding a course of action, brainstorm options and explore possibilities. Avoid old patterns that have not served you.  Stretch your mind.  Ask, “What else could I do?”  Then, break actions down into manageable steps. You’ll see that where there is a will, there is a way.

4.    They focus on what they can control.

If there is one thing you can control, it’s your thoughts. Start by replacing negative thoughts with more realistic ones.  Sometimes, you have to say, “It is what it is” and keep moving forward without trying to change things.

5.    They expand their minds.

Resilient people take every opportunity to learn. They take classes, read books, and soak up information like a sponge. The more you support your personal growth, the more you’ll see possibilities all around you.

6.    They see the silver lining in grey skies. 

Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom in order to rise up. Resilient people reflect on their ups and downs and see the lesson in the chaos. They have no regrets, only hopes for the future.

7.    They ask for help.

Resilient people know that they don’t have to hold the world on their shoulders. There are times to stand tall, and there are times when helping yourself means getting help from someone else. When you have a strong support system, you can accomplish much more and feel good at the same time.

8.    They are grateful.  

When you regularly give thanks for what you have, you understand that abundance comes in many forms. Resilient people do things like keep a gratitude journal or send thank you notes. Even during hard times, there is pleasure in the smallest of things.

9.    They live with purpose.  

Have a sense of direction as you go about your life is one of the cornerstones of resilience. When you know where you’re going and see the bigger picture — as resilient people do, you won't be deterred by setbacks along the journey. 

10. They persevere, no matter what.

Resilient people stick to their mission. If you feel discouraged, use these affirmations and dust yourself off:

• “I am not giving up!”

• “I can overcome this.”

• “I’m bigger than this.”

• “I am resilient.”

When you’re feeling overwhelmed, try some of these strategies that resilient people use. And, while you’re going about your day or facing a crisis, remember that building grit takes time. You’re going to have off days, and imperfect responses simply because you’re human. Don’t give up. Brighter days are ahead.

Lisa Petsinis is a certified coach (ACC) who works with busy women who want to beat overwhelm, find their voice, and create more joy and meaning in their lives. Contact her for a free call so you can jumpstart the changes you want in your life, starting today.